I was watching Bad Moms Holiday and the opening scene was incredibly powerful. Amy Mitchell (played by Mila Kunis), explained how stressful Christmas is and the need to do everything perfect. I was watching this with my 17 year old daughter and she asked if I feel like this? I honestly replied,..Yes.
It's like mom's are the Christmas deligate, responsible for making everyone's Christmas feel magical. We want to make sure we have holiday foods, make Christmas cookies, Oh...we can't forget the gingerbread house, what about PICTURES...we need those pictures, holiday cards...should I buy them? Should I just order them? Do we have everyones address?...In laws... what should we buy...OMG what about acts of kindness or volunteering? We have to give to volunteer some way...My Lord...the Advent Calendar...are we getting one? Where can we find one? What about the local pancake breakfast...what day is it? OMG...the kids have a performance...White Shirt, black pants...where are the black pants?!! Ugh...it's a PANDEMIC where can we go fun? My spouse...what should I get? Socks? Grooming? Luggage?...I have ran out of ideas! Let me go to Instagram...Ugh...look how perfect that influencers holiday decroations look. Look at that familiy's beautifully coordinating pictures...Pinterest, let me go there...OMG how do they make that, I am not good at baking...I gotta try this year, we can't gather! ARGHH!
The Wine...We need wine!
Do you feel that way? What I found so interesting about this is, most moms LOVE Christmas, enjoy decorating and the pomp and circumstance centered around the season, however... mixed in this are feelings of not doing “enough.” It’s the one time of year we have to show our love through our bank account, some like to post it on social media out of vanity, while others just simply enjoy watching the joy that flushes the face of he recipient...all which are justifiably your business but...
Why? Why do we burden ourselves with trying to create perfection instead of enjoying ourselves.
This is the question I have asked myself because in the end, we have sucked out the joy of the holiday. All because we feel the need to set expectations on ourselves and sometimes others that are not realistic...making the twinkle in each light dimm down and die out like a dead star in the galaxy.
It’s time for change!
This year, let’s set our sights on anything other than perfection! 2020 has been one heck of a year and for millions of people joy is not exactly what they feel. Many people have lost their jobs, family members and we are all trying to pick up any crumbles of joy we can find.
How can we end the year with more joy and less stress? How can we initiate feelings of gratitude instead of jealousy and envy? How can we begin to pick up the pieces to the joy that once was? These are all questions that need answers right?
To be honest, I don’t have the answers. But I have some suggestions and I think during this time, we are all open to suggestions.
Here we go...
Your Love Isn’t For Sale - I completely understand you want to give your children and other family members the things they deserve, and I agree with you... But sometimes it's not possible and we have to make peace with it. Don’t allow the unattainable at the moment to rob you of the joy of this season. Do what you can do mama's!
Perfection Is Not The Reason For The Season - Every year in my mind I have this idea of my house looking like candyland inside and out. The reality is, it never happens. I have yet to buy any decorations for the outside of my house (We have been here 7 years) and the inside, well...I decorate but to keep it real, I am never satisfied with the outcome. I always feel like its not to my likings because I don’t have enough decorations (Althought we unleash 7 totes full of decor from the attic yearly!). But I have an epiphany in the midst of my yearly self loathing session. I remind myself that the decoration is not the reason for the season. My children are still happy and full of joy...thats what matters because that makes me happy! Don’t feel the need to be perfect. Everything will still be okay mama's...make peace with it.
Bask In The Moments - This year the season may look a little different but bask in the moments that we can make feel magical or full of life! Watch those movies, listen to those songs, make those smores, drink endless hot chocolate and drive around to see light displays. Do it with glee, feel good about it and enjoy the moments
Don’t Be Hard On Yourself - Mama’s, Mom guilt seems to grab a hold of us in ways that make us negate how awesome we are. Don’t forget that you are still just as awesome, even if you couldn’t afford the PS5 or couldn’t get your hands on the new iPhone. All is not lost, make peace with it.
Resist The Temptation To Go For Broke - We want the best and that just how us moms do it, but considering the challenging times we are faced with, don’t allow yourself to be faced with financial burdens or hardships due to the holiday season. Its okay to scale back or become more savvy. For those kids who have surpassed believing in St. Nick, have an open and honest conversation. Kids understand more than we think.
I leave you with this…
There was a scene in Bad Moms Christmas, when Mila Kunis' character shares with her mom that all of her mom desires to be perfect has robbed her of feeling joy during the season. Her mother said to her, “Moms don’t ENJOY, they GIVE joy. That’s how being a mom works!”
I don’t know about you but motherhood can have days when it feels just like this. But this is not mentally healthy for us. We deserve to enjoy and give joy simultaneously, lets start this year! FEEL JOY and GIVE JOY Mama's!
Welcome To My Blogmas (Blog-mas)! I hope each post this month will bring love and light to your holiday season! Feel free to share with a friend.
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